May -

The ass hole of the month is the fantastic Nick Clegg. The leader of the Liberal Democratic Party of the United Kingdom.

I'm sorry dad.

I do not think we will see such a high class arse hole for a long time. He truly has no Clegg to stand on. Huh huh!

He made out that he was the real alternative contender for the Tories. and Labour. Wrong.

He believed his own hype of mish mash policies prior to election day. One day before the election stating: "that British politics has changed for good. The genie is out of the bottle, I will not work with Gordon Brown & more...". After the election, "we are talking with the Tories & listening to labour." Do what, mate?

As it turned out the real loser here is the ass hole himself; Mr Clegg. Talk about under performance. I mean with all the chat he put on TV you would think he will at least end up with what he had, right? But not at all, he managed to reduce the number of MP's for the Liberal Democrats in this election by 5. In Liberal Democrat world that is lots & lots. Catastrophic failure. Had he made the necessary gains he would be in a position to do a deal with labour & form a coalition government.

Leave it to him & he will change the name of his party to the Liberal Prostitute Party. It is totally understandable if David Cameron wants to be the new government at any cost. They have been out of office for a long time & just spent millions & millions trying to con the electorate. But since when did the Liberals have any form of overlap in policy with the Tories? Maybe it is on immigration:. A joint cap & amnesty policy, capnesty? Or is it a new joint unilateral arm & disarm policy? Perhaps it is a proportional representation for he who has the big advertising budget policy, currently packaged as an alternative voting system? Who knows what goes in the mind of an ass hole. But what is ultra clear is that this man has no integrity, principles or beliefs in anything what so ever. A wheeler dealer public school boy just like his mate David Cameron, except we can respect Cameron for being who he really is & admitting it.

And if you don’t believe me. Just watch this space in the next election & the number of seats the Liberal Democrats will have then. From the 62 seats (2005) before Clegg, to 57 seats (2010) with Clegg to 30-40 in Autumn of 2010, with or without Clegg. The funniest ass hole ever!

Bitty Savage
May 2010

April -

This month's prestigious Ass Hole Of The Month title goes to our very own, bumbling, baffoon, Boris Johnson, The current Mayor of London.

De Pfeffel Johnson, AKA bumbling baboon! Pic: Ian Jones

The best way to describe this silly idiot is to check his middle name: De Pfeffel!!!!! And what a lying De Pfeffel is this man! The true face of Conservatives in Britain. Say one thing & do the opposite or in his case, mostly do nothing.

So let's see what De Pfeffel Johnson been up to:

• I will bring back the Routmaster buses back to London & get rid of the bendy buses which cause so much traffic. Ergh: nothing as yet!
• I will remove the Western extension for the Congestion charge. People in West London do not want this tax & London does not need this. Ergh. Nothing yet.
• I will ensure that Londoners are safe in their City against knife & gun crime. Ergh. London is now at its peak with reported gun & knife crime each day. We may as well be in Brooklyn! It is rougher out there than it has ever been. So no improvements there either.
• I believe Londoners should have a greater say on how their city is run and more and details on how City Hall money is spent. Ergh.. Not quite. De Pfeffel's Taxi expense alone had increased by a sexy 540% in 2008/09, at £4700.00, with a 3 mile cab journey costing a 100 quid as one of many examples.
• Our challenge... is to make our transport system better to improve our quality of life. Ergh... More than half of the Tube Net work does not work at the weekends. But being a Snobbish Tory arse, he blames the workers.

The list of broken pledges & untruths can go on for ever. One thing that is 100% clear is who De Pfeffel Johnson really is. Boris De Pfeffel's is a silver spooned spoilt brat with no clues on how normal people live & work in our City. He has recently come up with his stupid bicycle idea, costing millions, because he likes bicycles. and conveniently forgets our lovely British weather. Remember it is not his money! He is an old Etonian. One of the Chaps who studied Greek Buggery Bollocks at King's College, Oxford. Daddy is super rich & connected. Brother works at the Financial Times, also well connected. Even the Step-Mum is super connected. Basically De Pfeffel has had it good. And why not? The only bit that was missing in his life was the fame which he has certainly acquired since his election. Numerous TV appearances which have no connection what so ever to public office, from Soaps, East Enders, to Dame Edna, to Top Gear. All light entertainment stuff. No real interviews or debates to ask about the pre election promises. He is an innate racist or bigot at best and here are some of his comments:

• We are bringing ping pong home...Speech in Beijing for Olympic handover to London.
• Many Liverpudlians have a deeply unattractive psyche, & prefer victimhood...... In reference to Kenneth Bigley, The executed British hostage.
• Compares internal Tory disputes to ..."Cannibalistic orgies in Papua New Guinea"
• On Tony Blair's visit to the Congo, Central Africa: he compared it to "the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief".

When asked about his income from the Telegraph News papers, £250,000 a year. He referred to it as "chicken feed"... I suppose it must be if you are a De Pfeffel with a tight Mummy & Daddy from get go!

The list of questionable remarks & attitudes also goes on & on. The fact is this chap is typical Old Skool Conservative. The connected variety. The guys that shake down the Banks & institutions over Brandy & cigar. Power, money, politics & fame. plus a bunch of women in and out of his life to complete the deadly Cocktail: known as De Pfeffle on The Rocks. Yuk, gag me with a tea spoon!!

And that is why Boris De Pfeffle Johnson is the Ass-Hole Of The Month.

Bitty Savage
April 2010

For more about el Bozz, visit: www.boriswatch.co.uk

March -

This month's Ass-hole of The Month has to be Tony Woodley.

Derek Thicko & Tony Woodhead.

He is the joint general secretary of UNITE. One of the biggest unions in the United Kingdom. Tony's surname may have a connection to his brain, i.e. Woodley, wooden & such. He single handedly represents all that is British Socialism. Hypocrisy. He is the chap that has masterminded the current British Airways cabin crew strikes. The world's largest airline. Maybe the last of Big Brand Britannica. The fact remains that the giant has not made any money but lost in excess of £342 million pounds between January & December 2009. You do not need to be an economist to take a view & form an opinion here: revise costs immediately. This is exactly what they did. They cut back the cabin personnel numbers from 16 to 15. This is the gist of the issue at hand. Now, bring in Tony Woodley & his crooked mates to the table & you will find yourself in the middle of the greatest circus on earth. Taking your members on strike when the employer is loosing money is not smart to say the least. You must have wood in your head But if we look at Tony himself more closely we will find that he is on £105000.00 a year salary which goes to over £150,000.00 a year with all the bits & bobs of the benefits package & "New Accounting Rules"!!!!!!!! That is a nice juicy 20% increase on previous year compared to the less than 2.8% for the rest of his membership. The joint General Secretary of Unite, Derek Simpson, is also on a very nice earner at a whopping £160,000.00 a year Salary & package deal. If that ain't hypocrisy then I don't know what is. It must be easy to talk rubbish from a position of total comfort. Tony & Derek are doing fine, irrespective of the outcome of the strike, thank you very much. Incidentally, I can tell you the outcome of the strike right here, right now, for nothing. The cuts will be imposed & these strikes at critical periods such as Easter & Christmas will ensure that further & bigger cuts are justified, as demonstrated by the share price jumps for British Airways over the past few days. I guess you tend to run out of options when you are loosing £340 plus million. Not if you are doing fine yourself, as in the case of Tony & Derek. What a pair of hypocritical twats!

Bitty Savage
March 2010

February -

This month's Ass-hole of The Month is his Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

100 more guns please & I shall sing you a nice Tibetan prayer!!

With the human name of Tenzin Gyatso his real intention is to seize power & eventually become president Tenzin Gyatso of Tibet. Sort of a buddhist equivalent to Ayatollah Khomeini, when he seized power in Iran. He has been busy having tea with every Hollywood celebrity & every president, and soon President Obama, at every opportunity. Religion, celebrity & political power can not mix but he is mixing it under the guise of a perfectly valid & peaceful religion. The Chinese government hates him, because of his continual calls for illegal demonstrations which inevitably lead to injury & death. We have identical laws here. Our anti terror laws deal with them swiftly. He must be amongst the top ten insincere men in the world. Claims to be living in exile in Northern India, but spends the bulk of the time in California. His true message is to Free Tibet, so all Tibetans get to make Nike & Adidas trainers for us for less than 50 cents a pair. What a dick!

Bitty Savage
February 2010

January -

The Ass Hole of The Month is non other than London's very own lovely Red-Ken, AKA Ken Livingstone.

Red Ken praying for instantaneous self combustion of cars so we all have to walk the planet in sandals OR £100.00 for driving a car!!

Here is a chap who knows not when to stop. He was the leader of the old GLC, before Maggie took care of the whole institution as a result of his chat & behaviour. So he did not do Londoner's any favours at all, then. He then became a labour member of parliament but was forced out of the party, by Tony Blair for not taking no as an answer & stood against labour. This move got him the job of Mayor of London, twice. He gave Londoners the congestion charge & then increased it 2 or 3 times. Again he managed to open his mouth & chat the wrong chat. This time to a Jewish journalist. Which got him suspended for a month. Eventually, lost the job as a mayor, for wanting to charge cars over 2.2 litre engines £25.00 a day for driving their cars. Ken is a proper bread & butter. This is grey a mono-tone man, as heard on LBC radio. Red-Ken, still believes that London car owners should pay £25.00 a day to come to central London, Rickshaw riders must be part of the British Governments' Cabinet & Brussel sprouts do not contribute to flatulence.

Stubborn, arrogant & pig headed would be a intergalactic understatement when it comes to our cuddly Red-Ken.

Go on Ken, don't be a Tony. Listen to what they are telling you in the ballot box & just think about it. No one is right each time, every time.

Bitty Savage
January 2010

ATQ

As this is a re-launch of Savage London online store I want to start with the Ass-hole of The Quarter (ATQ).

The quarter's title has to go to Graham Thurlow-Paye & in second position Gregory Lumley.

Graham is apparently the head of Credit Control for Westfield London in White City. Huh!! This guy is a proper closet queen. He don't come to you, he will not face you, he bosses everyone around & hides behind his employment contract, cupboards, receptionists & solicitors when he gets it wrong. Everyone knows full well that he should be red carded. Sacked, dismissed, chucked, nudged or whatever meets the criteria of non presence. Graham, if you worked at Savage London, you wouldn't make it to lunch, you big poofter. Send the big boys in Holborn a bunch of flowers for hiring you matey. Do the decent thing, put yourself & your employer's clients a big favour & resign and let some one capable do the job. I know it requires dignity but I promise you will feel much better for it.

The second Ass-hole of The Quarter (ATQ) has to be Graham's boss, Greg Lumley. He is essentially a nice guy. But Savage's mum is nice too & she don't hang around commercial environs. This man is so out of his depth that he ends up being an ass hole through little fault of his own other than inability. Effectively, Greg takes the money & the shit at the same time. Oh: Money equals shit again, damn!! Strong rumour has it that he is more used to managing big Sainsbury's & Asda stores, or very similar. He is more equipped to deal with a dodgy pickle jar complaint than a 2.5 billion centre. He is definitely not the Chap with the Hat. Greg, stop right here & right now. Chill out with the family & leave this buggery bollox to others who can & know more. You seem as clueless & hopeless as Titty Savage, & she is entirely wrong 95% of the time.

Bitty Savage
November 2009