December - El Presidente de los Estados Unidos

NO I CAN'T!

Spanish is the most widely spoken language in the world, apparently!! But for my fellow English speaking citizens it means: The President of The United States.

To the average person, it also translates: what a fucking Ass Hole. Proper Fucker.

So why President Barack Hussein Obama as the Ass Hole Of The Month? But President Obama is a good guy. He says all the right things. Even before he was elected, all he kept telling America and the rest of the world, is Yes We Can. Hmmm! I will counter this, he has had ample time. So I would say No You Cunt.

At face value I risk being accused of harshness with no basis of calling a Brova a Cunt or an Ass Hole. So please allow me to elaborate on El Presidente's Ass Holism.

Prior to his election he fought a clever and modern campaign, on a much smaller budget than his rivals. His main quality is his oratory skills. He can fucking talk. He is the guy that will sell icicles to Siberians, (internal Joke). The modern bit is actually from his full appreciation and understanding of his audience, namely dumb Americans. What does the average person do in America now? They are constantly on Tweeter and Facebook and weird and wonderful social media networks. They are not making cars. They are not making anything actually. But they seem to spend half their awake time getting fucking connected. Which in itself, is odd. As I have met very few Americans who are actually connected. I find most of them totally disconnected. Alas, let us not digress. Good old Obama and his associates were quite a bit more techno savvy than your average boring middle aged candidates. He looked Ok too. And the main element, he is not a regular American. But an African American. This meant he could get a lot of famous African American Musicians to do shit for him for free. United Colours of America. It was at this point way back 3 years ago that I became alarmed. The reports on his progress were mainly about his colour and not what he was saying. He is the first Democratic candidate who is not white. Who is of African decent. Who is an African American. Who has a Hussein in the middle bit of his name. America needed to get spicy and exotic. He made promises about health care, lots and lots of other stuff. He made speech after speech about the Iraq War. Then another Million Speeches about the Afghan War. Followed by a zillion more speeches about African American( black people to me and you) rights, women’s rights, gay rights, lesbian rights, old men’s rights, old women’s rights and just about any "right" he could get his paddy paws on. On the count of being a super speech maker, everyone got convinced enough to elect him. George W Bush became the Ass Hole President. Barack Obama the new Super Man. He was here to save us from mother fuckers. Great, I will vote for him too. Errgh, maybe not. I don't live there.

And if you were left undecided then there is always his wife to help you make your mind up. A tall woman, deliberately made to look even taller. So at nearly 6 feet, they will photograph her like some Exotic Amazon woman who is 12 feet tall. Sex appeal and all that. So he talks good and has a fit and tall woman. He is our American Dream that Bob Dylan was singing about, goddamn it. Vote for him. And they did just that. He became El Presidente De Los Estados Unidos, in October 2008.

To date he is still in Iraq, an illegal war in the minds and hearts of millions. Particularly Iraqi People. No sign of wanting to leave either. He is still in Afghanistan with Drone bombings as part of life in Afghanistan. Kids dying every other day, by accident. Afghan kids, so not much to report. He apparently organised the execution of Osama Bin Laden. Of course we have all been told that Osama was single handedly responsible for the 9-11 attacks in New York. Which is why we are in Afghanistan and Iraq. Osama stupidly said yes I did it. Out of sheer antagonism and stubbornness. No real evidence that links Osama Bin Laden directly to the event, other than the Press and the Government saying Osama is responsible. Then all of the sudden when we needed fresh positive news Osama was killed and his defrosted body chucked in to the ocean for the fishy fishy to nibble on. Ok man. Whatever!! Spin away all you want. Mr President, even your mum doesn't believe you. Common, stop it. Then there is the outrageous No-Fly-Zone Un Resolution on Libya which he translated to lets kill the countries president by throwing as many bombs as we can on Libya. Of course Gaddaffi had to go, because he wanted gold for his oil and not promissory paper, (US Dollars). The war itch is still there, with Syria and of course Iran. The "Arab Spring" transformed and translated itself to the "American Middle East Pie", with all the new regimes somehow being very connected to the American Administration. Liberate this Mr Arab liberator!!

He has not nailed the corporate institutions that steal money from every American each and every moment of every day. His health care reforms may as well have not been implemented, as they are so washed down, from what was implied or promised. He has positioned America Vs Europe. The Dollar Vs the Euro. I think they are betting on which country is going to make less of anything and that would be the winner. Unemployment is at insane near 1930’s levels. Same thing with foreclosures and bankruptcies as well as home repossessions.

But so far we have the same disasters as with almost any other cheating, lying, corrupt, idiotic politician would have done. But I am suggesting that the difference in here is enormous. For example, in the case of Ronald Reagan or George W Bush, you know what you are going to get. Some wannabe patriotic shit to distract everyone and trick everyone about your own greatness. To be expected. They actually have more integrity. They are who they are. You get what you voted for. With this guy, all the things that was promised have remained the same and in most cases more of the same shit added on. All the African American Hip Hop Artists are now wondering I should not have done that song for him. The entire minority under classes are thinking but you said we count and Yes You Can! The whole of Middle Eastern Population is saying but you said you were going to fix the Israel and Palestine issue and have words with Israel about its messed up Apartheid tendencies. No. Not one thing has changed. The reason he is the Ultimate Ass hole is the same reason as our Home Grown Ass Hole Nick Clegg, Deputy Prime Minister of United Kingdom. They are taking part in something they do not believe in and yet continuing with it. They are going along with the ride. Playing the fucking game. The correct option would be to make your true position clear and declare the disgusting charade that goes on behind closed doors at the expense of human life and suffering. Just say I will not be part of this. I am going to resign and name you mother fuckers on my way out. If you try to kill me, assassinate me like J F Kennedy, then fuck you. But I will still name you all and let the people of this planet know what you are up to. Naah!! The Ass Hole goes along with the whole thing. And guess what occurs at the end of it, when it is even more fuckt up than it was to start with. The media then does a full circle and announces that the presidency went wrong, because; wait for it, the colour of his skin. We have to remember that he is an African American after all.

El Presidente De Los Estados Unidos is indeed the main Ass Hole of the Year! What an unprincipled time wasting looser.

Merry Christmas.

Bitty Savage
December 2011

July -

A PERMANANT & TOTAL ASS-HOLE

I think that we can all agree this particular ass hole to be the ultimate A-Grade ass hole.
Of course, I refer to Mr Anders Behring Breivik, the Norwegian chap who seems to be living in a psychopathic world entirely of his own manufacture.

As we all know he blew up a big government building bang in middle of Oslo, Norway. Knowing that all the police in Norway would be at the scene to attend to his carnage he then gets a cab or drives himself to an island 20 miles outside of Oslo to kill a bunch teenagers camping. What is most annoying about this idiot and unfortunately many who even partially subscribe to his mind set is the ultimate fashionable complaint. Islamisation of Western Europe. Without once examining what, where or how and indeed why!!

Apparently he wrote a 1500 page document describing his bullshit thoughts. Reminded me of the stupid school kid class mate of mine who wrote a 12 page essay for English Literature and failed the exam miserably. Quantity does not mean quality. So the world press, are again trying to mislead all of us by emphasising the number of pages the idiot wrote. Possibly for a similar agenda. Maybe he is not all mad. He must be clever. But this all came after his arrest. Prior to the arrest it was a done and dusted deal that it was some brown skin Muslim man with a beard. In less than 24 hours we got the whiter than snow, blonder than Blondie and bluer eyed than Jude Law: Anders Behring Breivik. Check the headlines of the Sun for the day after and you will see.

Alas, the disappointment crept in and within 48 hours after the massacre and we got the Norwegian white boy, who surrendered himself. But White Norwegians just don’t do crazy stuff? In fact all Scandinavian countries are ever so cool, politically correct and tolerant, sexually liberated, NOT. Just look at the number of poor African Orphans they adopt, Somalis, Eritreans, Sudanese and so on. They care so much for nature that you may even confuse them with Native Americans or Amazon Indians, if you stuck a feather up their butts. They date lots and lots of African and Asians to reconfirm themselves to themselves. But invariably they end up marrying and having kids amongst their own lot. They even deliberately over consume so they get to recycle more than their mates! I am sorry, but Scandinavians, in general, are the epitome of pretentiousness. A Pure falsehood. They are not particularly tolerant, caring nor giving. Certainly not all that sexually liberated either.

The issue in here is that Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Finland are white countries. They are an incredibly conservative bunch, by nature. Their governments may well be centre left at times. But the population is essentially to the right when it comes to race and social integration. This is not a profiling or generalisation thing but an outsider’s observation whilst amongst them for quite sometime. They don’t really mean it. But they have to be seen as if they meant it.

In the case of this ass hole, Anders Behring Breivik, his issue is no different, except he has many screws loose in the head. He seems to think that Europe is still living is some pseudo-glorious past where Kings and Queens ran these fantastic Empire Nations. With funky Tsars from Russia, Kings of Sweden, who buggered the Norwegians. Richard the Lion Heart rocking it loud in England. The reference to ancient historical events, all of which were incidentally blood baths, demonstrates a lack of intellect and understanding, or accepting what and who he really is. His paranoia of Islamists trying to take his beloved motherland, Norway. Of course like many natives of Europe they will never understand why there are African, Afghan, Iraqi, Pakistani, Libyan(recently), or Indian migrants on their doorsteps. The right and the centre right’s failure to emphasis or correctly examine the 300 plus years of forced colonization, slavery and general buggery bollocks across distant parts of the globe by every other European nation. It really is like the Fawlty Towers German Sketch, "don’t mention the war". They also conveniently omit the simple and most obvious by product of war, displaced population. Don’t go bombing Iraqis & they will not have to run for their fucking lives to somewhere safer. Ever noticed how, dogs and cats leg it when there is fireworks going off!! We are the same. We don’t like it. We don’t want to risk getting hurt and do not want to witness anyone else getting hurt. So we leg it out of Baghdad, Mogadishu, Eritrea, Kabul etc etc etc... In this process the host communities, quite naturally, become alarmed by the new influx of immigrants, who do not worship the same way, eat the same things and don’t speak the local language properly. But not once do they ask their representatives and leaders, what the hell are you doing bombing and poking your nose in to all these places. Why do you entertain, wheel and deal, and support the murderous dictators that run these puppet nations. And if you sat down with the very immigrants in Europe the majority would prefer being back in their own countries, if it is safe, stable and a reasonably free and just society. Just like Norway. Africans and Asians do not particularly want to be in a place like Norway. They ended up there because of an important necessity. Life itself. They do not want to live in darkness for half the year. They are not very well adapted to dealing with -20 degrees as the average winter day. Of course when they eventually settle and somehow integrate then they need to have their mosques or synagogues or what ever.

So this ass hole’s (Anders Behring Breivik), notions of the Great White Europe is not only ill founded and incorrect but impossible in the current world. So before we get another ass hole like this idiot, the average Scandinavian, French, German or English, needs to know and ask why are our countries bombing Libya and destabilizing the country and the whole region? Inevitably you will have Libyans on your doorsteps, which will bring their own Libyan mosques with them. In the past this was not so possible, only battle ships sailed the seas and selected who is coming back with them. But that was 500 fucking years ago!

Bitty Savage
July 2011

April -

I must win!

Well let’s see. There are so many of the these guys out there. In fact in the past 3 months we have been overrun by ass holes. Every 10 days or so we get a shiny new Ass-Hole. One for every week, sometimes. Mubarak (Egypt), Gadaffi (Libya), Anti Gadaffis! (Libya), Obama (USA), Ben Ali (Tunisia), Saleh (Yemen), Cameron (UK), Sarkozy (France) etc, etc etc...

But there is this one Ass-Hole that cannot escape this magnificent title. Hilary Rodham Clint. The United States Secretary of State. The follow up to the previous idiot Condalisa Rice except with one big difference. The former US Secretary of State was a mere idiot. She kept repeating what the President wanted to hear. Effectively talking shit, just Like George W Bush wanted her to. But there is a distinct difference between an idiot an an Ass-hole. The Ass-hole actively engages itself in Assholism. They watch & hedge their bets. They are always driven by the self and nothing but the self.

Hilary Clinton was sure that she was going to make history to stand as the Democratic nominee for the US elections. This meant she would be the countries first female US president & as an aside with a 2 term period as the first lady. It was a win win win kind of scenario. All in the bag. Of course she is white, which is supposed to help. However, things did not go to plan. She lost to Obama, who is a man of colour who also stalked a better game. The next move was for her to force the issue, behind the scenes, to become the Secretary of State. A very powerful & important job, one would say. Not Obama’s natural pick. This way she ensured that she remains within the spotlight and possibly have a go at the presidential campaign again. In the process she has concentrated all her efforts in discrediting or taking an semi-opposing view to that of her President. Or as I would say, sticking the knife in at each and every opportunity.

She seems to work & liaise more with the opposition that with her own administration on policy. For instance recently on the deployment in Libya and Middle East President Obama said that "America cannot continue to be the policeman for the globe". On the same day she makes her own, independent statement, saying that Gadaffi knows what he must do and must leave Libya". Hilary Clinton adopts a similar stance whilst her whole government is in turmoil and disagreement over the budget deficit. She call for zero or minimal cuts on International Aid and Development budget, when she knows full well that US International Development and aid has to have a massive chop. Again in contrast to President Obama’s position. By taking all these "smart" opportunistic off centre positions she has effectively managed to compromise and undermine the whole administrations mandate to govern as the "world power", domestically & Internationally. Small contradictions and contrary views within any camp lead to uncertainties and a lack of clarity as well as unity. This in turn opens up the debate on the leadership itself. So if you ever wondered why President Obama is so stuck and appearing to be so ineffective, then look no further than 2 corridors from his office. One of the main contributors is his Secretary of State, Hilary Clinton. And when it all goes tits up, which won’t be long, guess who is going to be standing in the front line, pretending to be "smart": Hilary Rodham Clinton. May explain her husband’s consistent extra-marital activities over the years. A total under handed Ass-Hole that is Hilary Rodham Clinton. Yuk!

Bitty Savage
April 2011

February -

Total Dickhead!!

The prestigious title for Ass Hole Of The Month has to go Gennaro Gattuso. He is the AC Milan football player, who thinks he is a little bit 'ard.

At the end of the European Championship game with Tottenham, 15th Feb2011, he head butted & 'throated' the assistant manager of Tottenham Hotspurs, Joe Jordan, who used to play for Milan. Why? Because they lost a game that they could not win. Tottenham is a great contending team right now. What is worse is that Gattuso is not even from Manchester or Liverpool. So how the fuck does this fool figure his hardness is beyond comprehension. But there is an underlining explanation to all this. He is from Corigliano Calabro, Southern Italy. Now if you ask any average Italian why he behaves the way he does, you are likely to get the same resounding answer. What do you expect, he is from the South!! An entirely separate breed altogether. The original European peasants. Most of them believe that God Father was for real. But as it always turns out, they are mostly a bunch of gaylords. Pansies. Fairies. Wooly-Woofters, shirt lifters, fudge boxers. It is a known fact that the most ultra macho men are actually total closet queens. In fact an insult to the regular homosexual men who have the courage to come out and admit to being what they are!

But his head butting an assistant manager is not an isolated incident. He has slapped Ajax striker Zlatan Ibrahimovich with the back of his hand. More commonly known as a bitch slap! He is an aggressive & stupid chimp and certainly should not be playing at the International level. One thing he always relies on, again a sign of his sexuality, is that he knows he will never actually have to do any fighting! Because everyone will jump in to save his sorry arse! I think he is more suited in playing in the streets southern Italy for money. Like he used to. In fact why the Italians even include him in their squad is strange. He has scored 1 goal in 73 National appearances!! His record for AC Milan is not all that either, 3 goals in 5 years. Common. Even goal keepers score more than that.

This boy is a proper Southern Ass-Hole. I bet his mum was on the game as well!!

Bitty Savage
February 2011

December -

The Ass-Holes for the year is a more apt title for this particular mob. Our very own Great Leader, David Cameron Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, along with his mate Georgie boy Osborne, then his 2 side kicks from the Liberal Democrat part. Idiot Clegg & Foolish Cable. North Korea has nothing on us!

These are the new architects of disaster in our country. The promises made to get elected, are turning out to be nothing other than just that. Promises. In terms of action whilst on the job they have delivered nothing but bad news, lies, back tracks & U-Turns. The four musketeers are shameful in their arrogance & disregard for the average person. The Tories are Tories. They do what Tories do & think what Tories think. Nothing new there really. These youngsters are from the Maggie-For-Ever brand of Conservatism. They still believe that she had something of political importance. I suppose she did. Contempt for the average person coupled with an obsession with personal wealth at every one else’s cost. But what about the Liberal Democrats? Wolves in sheep’s clothing, maybe? Bullshitters of the 10th Kind? Liars? Sell outs? Career opportunists? Vince Cable & Nick Clegg do not even have the integrity of coming clean & saying that we do not agree & therefore, we can not be part of this sham of a Government.

The issue of tuition fees is currently the top of the news agenda. But there are many other issues that will come to the fore in the not so distant future. The timing of this particular bit of legislation was just before Christmas. Not an accident either. Bury the bad news during the holidays. The sheer contempt towards us, the citizens, is inexplicable. So when we see students marching again & again what are we supposed to think when it kicks off & ends in violence.

Of course it is unacceptable to go on the rampage & create chaos like a bunch of wild baboons. But when was the last time these baboons were on the street? I certainly do not remember. Students are being asked to pay £9000 each year for 3-4 years plus interest. They have 30 years to pay this back after they get a job and start paying our wonderful taxes & VAT. The cost of accommodation & food is now secondary, whilst going through this education. Effectively by the time you are done & a graduated you are in debt for £50-60,000 before even getting a job. This is all very well, if the taxes were reduced so parents can set up trust funds & college funds. But you want us to work & tick over non stop. To keep the ailing system going. To ensure that the banks operate profitably. To enable you to lend money to Ireland. The money given to Ireland to prevent a bankrupt state was over 2 billion. The savings & cuts applied to Universities is 2.8 billion. The money for Ireland was found & sourced in 2-3 working days. My point is that the situation is more to do with misappropriation of funds. Get rid of Trident. It is old, unnecessary & useless in helping our defence. Nuclear capability is no longer the issue. Invest & generate jobs in manufacturing so you collect taxes. But instead we are constantly being told by our Great & Dear Leaders, Cameron & Clegg, that we need to keep our talented bankers in this country. My advise. Let them go. They have a track record of disaster. Was all this Gordon’s fault? Well if you only read the headlines then yes. But if you truly understand how our system works & how it interconnects to the rest of the world, then NO. Gordon Brown could not do anything. The deficit is more akin to climate change. It is following the cycles of capitalism. Boom & Bust. Except each time the stakes are higher. At the last round you lost your job & your house. Now you loose everything. Whole communities. Then to be told how rubbish we are at just about everything. That can not help either. What is required is decisive & intelligent leadership. No one wants to ask WHY we are in the current predicament. But the only thing you hear is WHAT. The students go on the march to make their voices heard. Same as when everyone marched to oppose the war in Iraq. We all know that story now.

The Great Leader’s, Cameron, first reaction to the riots, when the Heir to the Throne was stuck in the middle of it, was the state of Prince Charles’ car. The prime Minster emphasised the paint on the Bentley first!!!!! Not the poor police who are now forced to deal with violent side effects of political gambits. Not Prince Charles or Camilla terrorised. Naah. The nice Vintage Bentley was damaged by paint. But we can play around & talk about the Police instead. WHAT can be done by the police. It is the fault of the Commissioner of Police. Not WHY are the Police forced to react this way or indeed why are so many students angry & not accepting the deal. We definitely do not like the word WHY.

Then to top it all, the Good Comrade, Vince Cable, states that he is proud of what they have implemented. Woah! Proud to ensure that education is now a luxury reserved for the rich. Good job my Good Comrade. As for the piggy in the middle, Georgie Osborne. Well if there ever was an idiotic public school character, then he is the one. The Governor of the Bank Of England is on record saying that Both the piggy & the Great Leader, are out of their depths. This guy is a pathetic puppet who was given the job of holding the Chancellors case, without understanding why or what is inside it. Every worthwhile economist across the globe has already said that the rapid cuts & savings programme adopted by this sham of coalition government is unlikely to deliver the desired results. But more likely to lead to depression & we all know what happens when a person is made to feel like they have nothing else to loose. They react. It does not mean the reaction is correct. But it is what we do. This is a flaw in our make up as a species, if you will.

In essence these Ass-Holes are hell bent on busting us to the absolute max, in order to enable their rich mates pick the crumbs up, on the cheap. Maggie Rules again. There are other alternatives here. Of course for now we shall blame the anarchists that attended the demonstrations. But soon enough there will be bigger & possibly more violent marches. The question that begs here is that I did not know the existence of such an organised & coordinated Pan European Anarchist movement. You will also note big disturbances in France, Italy, Greece & Spain. If we are serious about fixing problems then we have to apply ourselves & start revising our systems in their entirety. It is broke & dysfunctional. Change, however, as we all know is the last option. Similar to asking WHY.

So well done Ass Holes for bringing injury, carnage, destruction & disrepute to my City within 6 months of being in Office. If you want to have an uneducated underclass in your society just say it & quit pretending. Hypocritical lying parasites. With 2-3 more ridiculous incidents like this & we shall have the vote of no confidence & be rid of these idiots for good. Total Utter Ass-Holes.

Bitty Savage
December 2010

October -

Everyone Hates Me because I am  the Only Gay in the Village.

We definitely have a proper Ass-Hole this month. Mr Roughian Goerie Porgie Michael.

Yeap. The singer of Wham, 80’s boy duo who had a bunch of pop hits. He is also the same guy that cruises up & down Hampstead Heath for a quick BJ & tells us it is the thrill of it. This man can not get over his sexuality & internal contradictions so does weird, wonderful & entertaining things. Goergie Porgie does not admit to being a druggie. He also does not accept that he talks shit 95% of the time. However, because he is famous, the media gives him the platform. He has sold 100 million records & bitches non stop. I mean, get with it dude. Appreciate it. Recognise it. Thank some one for it. Naah. George likes moaning. He moans about being arrested for possession of class A, B, C drugs. He likes drugs. Why, because despite the fame. Despite the fortune, he is essentially a miserable loser. Ask his school mate Andrew Ridgley, Co-Pilot of Wham. He takes his record company, Sony to court over some bullshit, artistic flair & freedom. Like Sony gives a damn. Georgie Porgie: Sony wants hits like you used to have in the past. They are still selling the old tunes. Not this mish mash of stuff you been doing. They gave you enough money, did they not? They are not going to part with that catalogue. It is theirs. You sold it. Maybe under influence of cock. But you sold it. He gets arrested for messing about with another man’s bits & bobs in public in LA. Only to cry foul play. Sure, you like guys. Like some of us like chickens. Do it at home darling. Duh!! His latest episode was crashing his car in to a shop in Hampstead whilst off his trolley on drugs. I am sorry I killed your mum. I am a famous gay singer. So it does not count. Currently doing bird for it. I know it will not fix tht defective psychology.1

Get help Mr Michael & quit bitching. It is not personal like you like to think it is. Only an Ass Hole thinks that way.

Bitty Savage
October 2010

August -

Who wouldn't?

It seems that all the ass holes went on their annual leave in June and July. But hey, the first to return with a beautiful natural tan is our very own Naomi Campbell. Yeap, this is our true Souwf London Gaal. Make no mistake about Naomi. If she has one thing it is pedigree. She don’t know who her dad is. Apparently some China man by the name of Ming. Rumour also has it that Valerie, Naomi’s mum, was on the game, some what. Oh well, how Rock N Roll do you really want it to be. Elusive China Dad, Dancing mum on the game. A regular Souwf Londoner, gone mega to become an Uber modelle.

One thing she is blessed with is her looks with amazing physique, as well as near perfect complexion. But take this away and you will end up with a really special ass hole.

As long as she is the centre of attention and the ego is continuously rubbed & tickled then she is in the normal Naomi State Of Mind. She wrote book, don’t ask how, which was a load of rubbish. The released a music album, hmmm didn’t know she could sing/play. Which was even worse. Except in Japan. But the Japs love anything from England anyways. Threw phones at maids and ended up doing anger management & community service for it. Spat at a Police officer. The list is endless & Namoi is thirsty for it all. Each incident is more vulgar than previous & generates more dollars for her. Given that she is ha s gone past the sell by date, in the trendy & sophisticated fashion world, of course.

The latest, most disgusting charade, was at the United Nation Court for War Crimes. She was literally forced to give evidence about how & why she came in to possession of African Diamonds given to her by Charles Taylor. We got to remember that Taylor was, at first, our guy. One of the good guys. The Rebel Leader. The liberator. But became an ass hole after seizing power, with a lot of Western help by way of guns and stuff. Being a psycho, he quickly adopted mass murder as some form of personal trade mark & chopped off an awful lot of hands. This is the character that Naomi got her diamonds from. But the real disgusting and truly sad part is her arrogance at the court. She arrived late at the hearing. Instead of apologising, she maintained that "I am always late". Then during her testimony she pretended not to know who the stones came from. The pretence then continued with not knowing that she was given diamonds. Blood Diamonds. "Someone knocked at my door in the middle of the night & gave me a pouch with a few dirty stones", in Nelson’s (Mandela) house. Of course they did darling. We are all as stupid as you. She also stressed, "how inconvenient this whole thing has been for her and how she was forced to be there". In other words, if it was up to her and for all she cares, the idiot can go and kill a zillion more & chop a trillion more hands. As long as it does not disturb her precious vacuous life.

The issue of Charles Taylor, like many other blood thirsty heads of state is a serious one. Unfortunately, the spot light ended up on Naomi again. $$$$$$$. The centre stage was hers again. Because the entity we call media, seems to prefer focusing on what she was wearing & hoping for her to loose her cool whilst missing the whole point of a very serious business at hand. Genocide & real human crimes. The main reason the media, from BBC down wards, does this time and again, is because she is a celebrity. We don’t just love celebrities but worship them. Like some form of modern religion.

This was an opportunity for Naomi to get a little more serious and live up to her celebrity status and seeing the bigger picture.

Naomi can dress & strut all she wants. She can fake and force the New York accent to mask her total lack of sophistication and compassion. This is one self centred, materialistic, rude, psycho with little respect for anyone or anything. In the Ass Hole world, she will be nearly impossible to beat because she has true pedigree.

Bitty Savage
August 2010

May -

The ass hole of the month is the fantastic Nick Clegg. The leader of the Liberal Democratic Party of the United Kingdom.

I'm sorry dad.

I do not think we will see such a high class arse hole for a long time. He truly has no Clegg to stand on. Huh huh!

He made out that he was the real alternative contender for the Tories. and Labour. Wrong.

He believed his own hype of mish mash policies prior to election day. One day before the election stating: "that British politics has changed for good. The genie is out of the bottle, I will not work with Gordon Brown & more...". After the election, "we are talking with the Tories & listening to labour." Do what, mate?

As it turned out the real loser here is the ass hole himself; Mr Clegg. Talk about under performance. I mean with all the chat he put on TV you would think he will at least end up with what he had, right? But not at all, he managed to reduce the number of MP's for the Liberal Democrats in this election by 5. In Liberal Democrat world that is lots & lots. Catastrophic failure. Had he made the necessary gains he would be in a position to do a deal with labour & form a coalition government.

Leave it to him & he will change the name of his party to the Liberal Prostitute Party. It is totally understandable if David Cameron wants to be the new government at any cost. They have been out of office for a long time & just spent millions & millions trying to con the electorate. But since when did the Liberals have any form of overlap in policy with the Tories? Maybe it is on immigration:. A joint cap & amnesty policy, capnesty? Or is it a new joint unilateral arm & disarm policy? Perhaps it is a proportional representation for he who has the big advertising budget policy, currently packaged as an alternative voting system? Who knows what goes in the mind of an ass hole. But what is ultra clear is that this man has no integrity, principles or beliefs in anything what so ever. A wheeler dealer public school boy just like his mate David Cameron, except we can respect Cameron for being who he really is & admitting it.

And if you don’t believe me. Just watch this space in the next election & the number of seats the Liberal Democrats will have then. From the 62 seats (2005) before Clegg, to 57 seats (2010) with Clegg to 30-40 in Autumn of 2010, with or without Clegg. The funniest ass hole ever!

Bitty Savage
May 2010

April -

This month's prestigious Ass Hole Of The Month title goes to our very own, bumbling, baffoon, Boris Johnson, The current Mayor of London.

De Pfeffel Johnson, AKA bumbling baboon! Pic: Ian Jones

The best way to describe this silly idiot is to check his middle name: De Pfeffel!!!!! And what a lying De Pfeffel is this man! The true face of Conservatives in Britain. Say one thing & do the opposite or in his case, mostly do nothing.

So let's see what De Pfeffel Johnson been up to:

• I will bring back the Routmaster buses back to London & get rid of the bendy buses which cause so much traffic. Ergh: nothing as yet!
• I will remove the Western extension for the Congestion charge. People in West London do not want this tax & London does not need this. Ergh. Nothing yet.
• I will ensure that Londoners are safe in their City against knife & gun crime. Ergh. London is now at its peak with reported gun & knife crime each day. We may as well be in Brooklyn! It is rougher out there than it has ever been. So no improvements there either.
• I believe Londoners should have a greater say on how their city is run and more and details on how City Hall money is spent. Ergh.. Not quite. De Pfeffel's Taxi expense alone had increased by a sexy 540% in 2008/09, at £4700.00, with a 3 mile cab journey costing a 100 quid as one of many examples.
• Our challenge... is to make our transport system better to improve our quality of life. Ergh... More than half of the Tube Net work does not work at the weekends. But being a Snobbish Tory arse, he blames the workers.

The list of broken pledges & untruths can go on for ever. One thing that is 100% clear is who De Pfeffel Johnson really is. Boris De Pfeffel's is a silver spooned spoilt brat with no clues on how normal people live & work in our City. He has recently come up with his stupid bicycle idea, costing millions, because he likes bicycles. and conveniently forgets our lovely British weather. Remember it is not his money! He is an old Etonian. One of the Chaps who studied Greek Buggery Bollocks at King's College, Oxford. Daddy is super rich & connected. Brother works at the Financial Times, also well connected. Even the Step-Mum is super connected. Basically De Pfeffel has had it good. And why not? The only bit that was missing in his life was the fame which he has certainly acquired since his election. Numerous TV appearances which have no connection what so ever to public office, from Soaps, East Enders, to Dame Edna, to Top Gear. All light entertainment stuff. No real interviews or debates to ask about the pre election promises. He is an innate racist or bigot at best and here are some of his comments:

• We are bringing ping pong home...Speech in Beijing for Olympic handover to London.
• Many Liverpudlians have a deeply unattractive psyche, & prefer victimhood...... In reference to Kenneth Bigley, The executed British hostage.
• Compares internal Tory disputes to ..."Cannibalistic orgies in Papua New Guinea"
• On Tony Blair's visit to the Congo, Central Africa: he compared it to "the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief".

When asked about his income from the Telegraph News papers, £250,000 a year. He referred to it as "chicken feed"... I suppose it must be if you are a De Pfeffel with a tight Mummy & Daddy from get go!

The list of questionable remarks & attitudes also goes on & on. The fact is this chap is typical Old Skool Conservative. The connected variety. The guys that shake down the Banks & institutions over Brandy & cigar. Power, money, politics & fame. plus a bunch of women in and out of his life to complete the deadly Cocktail: known as De Pfeffle on The Rocks. Yuk, gag me with a tea spoon!!

And that is why Boris De Pfeffle Johnson is the Ass-Hole Of The Month.

Bitty Savage
April 2010

For more about el Bozz, visit: www.boriswatch.co.uk

March -

This month's Ass-hole of The Month has to be Tony Woodley.

Derek Thicko & Tony Woodhead.

He is the joint general secretary of UNITE. One of the biggest unions in the United Kingdom. Tony's surname may have a connection to his brain, i.e. Woodley, wooden & such. He single handedly represents all that is British Socialism. Hypocrisy. He is the chap that has masterminded the current British Airways cabin crew strikes. The world's largest airline. Maybe the last of Big Brand Britannica. The fact remains that the giant has not made any money but lost in excess of £342 million pounds between January & December 2009. You do not need to be an economist to take a view & form an opinion here: revise costs immediately. This is exactly what they did. They cut back the cabin personnel numbers from 16 to 15. This is the gist of the issue at hand. Now, bring in Tony Woodley & his crooked mates to the table & you will find yourself in the middle of the greatest circus on earth. Taking your members on strike when the employer is loosing money is not smart to say the least. You must have wood in your head But if we look at Tony himself more closely we will find that he is on £105000.00 a year salary which goes to over £150,000.00 a year with all the bits & bobs of the benefits package & "New Accounting Rules"!!!!!!!! That is a nice juicy 20% increase on previous year compared to the less than 2.8% for the rest of his membership. The joint General Secretary of Unite, Derek Simpson, is also on a very nice earner at a whopping £160,000.00 a year Salary & package deal. If that ain't hypocrisy then I don't know what is. It must be easy to talk rubbish from a position of total comfort. Tony & Derek are doing fine, irrespective of the outcome of the strike, thank you very much. Incidentally, I can tell you the outcome of the strike right here, right now, for nothing. The cuts will be imposed & these strikes at critical periods such as Easter & Christmas will ensure that further & bigger cuts are justified, as demonstrated by the share price jumps for British Airways over the past few days. I guess you tend to run out of options when you are loosing £340 plus million. Not if you are doing fine yourself, as in the case of Tony & Derek. What a pair of hypocritical twats!

Bitty Savage
March 2010

February -

This month's Ass-hole of The Month is his Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

100 more guns please & I shall sing you a nice Tibetan prayer!!

With the human name of Tenzin Gyatso his real intention is to seize power & eventually become president Tenzin Gyatso of Tibet. Sort of a buddhist equivalent to Ayatollah Khomeini, when he seized power in Iran. He has been busy having tea with every Hollywood celebrity & every president, and soon President Obama, at every opportunity. Religion, celebrity & political power can not mix but he is mixing it under the guise of a perfectly valid & peaceful religion. The Chinese government hates him, because of his continual calls for illegal demonstrations which inevitably lead to injury & death. We have identical laws here. Our anti terror laws deal with them swiftly. He must be amongst the top ten insincere men in the world. Claims to be living in exile in Northern India, but spends the bulk of the time in California. His true message is to Free Tibet, so all Tibetans get to make Nike & Adidas trainers for us for less than 50 cents a pair. What a dick!

Bitty Savage
February 2010

January -

The Ass Hole of The Month is non other than London's very own lovely Red-Ken, AKA Ken Livingstone.

Red Ken praying for instantaneous self combustion of cars so we all have to walk the planet in sandals OR £100.00 for driving a car!!

Here is a chap who knows not when to stop. He was the leader of the old GLC, before Maggie took care of the whole institution as a result of his chat & behaviour. So he did not do Londoner's any favours at all, then. He then became a labour member of parliament but was forced out of the party, by Tony Blair for not taking no as an answer & stood against labour. This move got him the job of Mayor of London, twice. He gave Londoners the congestion charge & then increased it 2 or 3 times. Again he managed to open his mouth & chat the wrong chat. This time to a Jewish journalist. Which got him suspended for a month. Eventually, lost the job as a mayor, for wanting to charge cars over 2.2 litre engines £25.00 a day for driving their cars. Ken is a proper bread & butter. This is grey a mono-tone man, as heard on LBC radio. Red-Ken, still believes that London car owners should pay £25.00 a day to come to central London, Rickshaw riders must be part of the British Governments' Cabinet & Brussel sprouts do not contribute to flatulence.

Stubborn, arrogant & pig headed would be a intergalactic understatement when it comes to our cuddly Red-Ken.

Go on Ken, don't be a Tony. Listen to what they are telling you in the ballot box & just think about it. No one is right each time, every time.

Bitty Savage
January 2010

ATQ

As this is a re-launch of Savage London online store I want to start with the Ass-hole of The Quarter (ATQ).

The quarter's title has to go to Graham Thurlow-Paye & in second position Gregory Lumley.

Graham is apparently the head of Credit Control for Westfield London in White City. Huh!! This guy is a proper closet queen. He don't come to you, he will not face you, he bosses everyone around & hides behind his employment contract, cupboards, receptionists & solicitors when he gets it wrong. Everyone knows full well that he should be red carded. Sacked, dismissed, chucked, nudged or whatever meets the criteria of non presence. Graham, if you worked at Savage London, you wouldn't make it to lunch, you big poofter. Send the big boys in Holborn a bunch of flowers for hiring you matey. Do the decent thing, put yourself & your employer's clients a big favour & resign and let some one capable do the job. I know it requires dignity but I promise you will feel much better for it.

The second Ass-hole of The Quarter (ATQ) has to be Graham's boss, Greg Lumley. He is essentially a nice guy. But Savage's mum is nice too & she don't hang around commercial environs. This man is so out of his depth that he ends up being an ass hole through little fault of his own other than inability. Effectively, Greg takes the money & the shit at the same time. Oh: Money equals shit again, damn!! Strong rumour has it that he is more used to managing big Sainsbury's & Asda stores, or very similar. He is more equipped to deal with a dodgy pickle jar complaint than a 2.5 billion centre. He is definitely not the Chap with the Hat. Greg, stop right here & right now. Chill out with the family & leave this buggery bollox to others who can & know more. You seem as clueless & hopeless as Titty Savage, & she is entirely wrong 95% of the time.

Bitty Savage
November 2009